The Leadership Superpower You’re Probably Underestimating

Hi Everyone,

I wanted to share some thoughts with you today on a topic that I believe is both incredibly powerful and widely misunderstood in leadership: emotional intelligence (EQ).

When we think about leadership, words like strategy, execution, and vision often take centre stage. And for good reason – those are critical. But emotional intelligence? That’s the quiet engine powering so many of the best leaders in the world. And yet, it’s often dismissed as “soft skills” or misunderstood as simply “being nice.”

Let me start with a story.

A few years ago, I was working with a leader who had built a wildly successful business. They were decisive, driven, and had a laser focus on results. But when their company hit a tough patch, everything started to unravel – not because they didn’t have the skills or the strategy, but because their team no longer felt connected to them. The leader had been so focused on solving problems that they unintentionally shut out their team’s emotions, concerns, and ideas.

When we started working together, they admitted something that stuck with me: “I always thought emotional intelligence was for people who didn’t have the stomach for hard decisions.”

Here’s the thing: EQ is not the opposite of decisiveness or strength. It’s what makes those traits sustainable.

What is Emotional Intelligence, Really?

At its core, emotional intelligence is about recognising, understanding, and managing both your emotions and those of others. It’s not about avoiding conflict or being overly accommodating. It’s about navigating the human side of leadership with intention.

Think of EQ as having four main components:

1. Self-awareness: Knowing how you feel and how your emotions impact your decisions and actions.

2. Self-regulation: Managing your emotions so they don’t control you – staying calm under pressure, thinking before reacting.

3. Empathy: Understanding how others feel and seeing things from their perspective.

4. Social skills: Building trust, communicating effectively, and resolving conflicts in a way that strengthens relationships.

Notice something? None of these are “soft” skills. They’re the foundational skills that allow us to lead well under pressure, inspire our teams, and build the kind of trust that drives long-term success.

Why Does EQ Get Misunderstood?

I think a big part of the misunderstanding comes from how EQ is sometimes positioned. People hear “emotional intelligence” and assume it means being overly emotional or prioritising feelings above facts. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Emotional intelligence is about balance. It’s about knowing when to push and when to pause, when to lead with conviction and when to lead with compassion. It’s about connecting the head and the heart so you can make decisions that are both rational and human.

What Does This Look Like in Practice?

Here’s a challenge for you this week: Think about a recent leadership decision you made. How much of it involved EQ?

• Did you pause to understand how others might feel about the decision?

• Were you aware of how your emotions were influencing your approach?

• Did you communicate in a way that made others feel heard, even if they didn’t agree?

Leadership is rarely about having all the answers. More often, it’s about asking the right questions, listening deeply, and showing your team that you genuinely value them – not just as employees, but as people.

The Hard Truth About EQ

Developing emotional intelligence isn’t easy. It requires practice, vulnerability, and a willingness to step outside your comfort zone. But the payoff is huge. Leaders with high EQ tend to build stronger teams, create more loyal followings, and weather crises with far less fallout.

So, my question to you is this:

What’s one small thing you can do this week to lean into emotional intelligence? Maybe it’s taking a beat before responding to a tough email. Maybe it’s actively listening in your next meeting without thinking ahead to your response. Or maybe it’s simply being honest with your team about how you’re feeling in a high-stakes moment.

I’d love to hear your thoughts – whether it’s something you’re already doing, something you’re struggling with, or a story about a time EQ made a difference for you. Hit reply and let me know.

Remember, emotional intelligence isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. And when you bring your full, human self to leadership, the ripple effects are incredible.